Friday, November 16, 2012

Those naughty bits...what do you call them ?

I'm not trying to be flippant here.  I'm really wondering.  I've read humorous blogs on this topic that listed the most outrageous purple prose that the writers had ever read.  It was hilarious reading all of the euphemisms that writers had used to describe a handful of body parts.

Some of my favorites?
Male part: Manroot, purple tulip, turgid rod, rampant manhood, and throbbing pole/shaft/etc.
Female part: Quivering quim., slick love grotto, passion-bedewed portal,  honeypot,  love canal,  etc.  Other important female part: Love button, nubbins, pearl of pleasure. Other two female parts: Alabaster mounds, twin peaks of pleasure. 
Sigh.  You get the picture.
But what's an author to do?  It ruins the mood if you go all clinical and describe his erect penis rubbing her vulva, before entering her vagina.  Sounds like a medical program...maybe Makeus Sexy, MD? 

The reason I'm even thinking about this is because I just read a book that kept using a term for the female part, c***,  repeatedly in very hot, very long and descriptive sex scenes.  I'm sorry, but that drew me out of the scenes way too much!  I've used that word myself as a swear word when I'm really aggravated, and most females I know get agitated even hearing it used that way.  They give me shocked looks at my being so bold as to swear "like a Marine".  I learned to swear at my Mama's knee, and from her brothers who had all been in the army during WWII.  They all swore magnificently, with great flourishes of nastiness and humor.  And from my Dad who was in the British Army where swearing was raised to an art form.

But to use a word that has such a negative connotation in a sex scene that is supposed to be getting me all hot and bothered?  Nope...ruined the mood.  How about you?  Are there any particular words that will make you look away from the book and say, "Ew!"?

My latest release, Prophecy of the Undead, is now available. There are sex scenes, but after having read some other erotic books I feel that mine are romances with erotic bits, rather than erotica.  My sex scenes are not the focus of the story.  They happen then we go back to character development and the plot.  Sex is only a part of why my heroine and hero fall in love.  But it is too important of a part not to include.  I just hope I avoid anything that might make you say, "Ew!" Or giggle.

Read more about my books at: www.fionamcgier.com where the first page is my blog.

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